Friday, August 28, 2009

Omari Hardwick on What It Means When Black Men Date Outside Their Race

From Esscence.com

The interracial dating debate always raises a level of sensitivity among Black women, especially when it comes to brothers courting women who don't look like "us." It's nothing that we can't escape, and with recent heated discussions and opinions about NFL great Terrell Owens of VH1's "The T.O. Show," sisters have plenty to say about his tastes in women and other notable Black men such as Terrence Howard, Derek Luke and Reggie Bush who have dated or married women outside of their race. ESSENCE.com caught up with TNT's "Dark Blue" hunk Omari Hardwick, who shared his unadulterated views about whether love is truly color blind or if a brother shouldn't bring any woman home that can't use his mama's comb.

Omari Hardwick says the following as his conclusion:

So what I've learned through my personal experience of interracial dating is that sometimes you might be able to help who you love but sometimes love just happens when you least expect it and when it does you have to be able to embrace it with an open heart.

Well, in my black woman sister circles the problem we have have with inter-racial dating is when the black man "trades down" to get a white woman.

Examples of trading down:

1. Kanye West and Amber Rose. She is a bi-sexual stripper at the least.





2. Tigger Woods and Elin Nordegren. She was a former Nanny.


3. Ice-T and Coco. She does sexy pics for a living. He has a Grammy and is a decent actor.


Couples that I am OK with because I think they are equals.


1. Hedi Klum and Seal. She totally has her own everything. Also, please note Seal is way big in Europe.




2. Taye Diggs and India Menzel. They both started together in rent.


3. Ellen Pompeo and Chris Ivery. Ellen has a great career.

4. Everyone Russell Simmons dates because he only dates models.

But on an everyday level. Every black man with a white woman on Jerry Springer or Maury ends up with the trashiest and often overweight white chick. Please note: I will concede that if a couple is on Jerry or Maury they are trading down in both directions.

And before you hate on me for me being one side. Here is a positive photo montage of inter-racial relationships.

3 comments:

  1. I get what you are saying, but don't forget that the "men trading down" thing was an expectation IN GENERAL before women actually were able to have careers unless you lived in a Jane Austen novel or a Wharton novel and could be an heiress.

    So, for example, George Clooney totally dated that cocktail waitress for a while and most people talked about what a luck it must have been for her to be swept up off her feet in such a gallant manner. Ethan Hawk married his children's former nanny, Ryan Shawhughes. So, its common among white men too. I think that the general power imbalances between the genders encourages this. Men "rescue" lower-status women.

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  2. Thealogian I agree with you 100%, but when it is done in the same race I think the economic benefits prevail in the community.

    For example Will and Jada have put their money to great use in the black community as well as world community.

    Also the images if of the First Lady and the President have encouraged many in the black community to look find love among the professional black class.

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  3. I do think that if Barack Obama had married a white women, even though he's biracial, he would not have won the presidency because Barack plus Michelle make that Black Power Couple that the Black Community can look up to and that shapes the white imagination in a positive direction, imagining Black Power Couples. Also, logistically, Hillary had the black community's backing at the beginning of the primary season, and I don't think they would have jumped her ship for a man with a white wife. I do think that since Black men marry outside of their race at six times the rate of black women, it makes it much harder for professional black women to get a peer to marry (because of the combined racism, sexism). Since my family represents the opposite happening: white man, black woman (both my brother and cousin are white men married to black women), I know that this skews my perception. I think that more Black women should consider dating/marrying white men, but I know that that can be frought with racial anxiety if one were to date a white man who wasn't liberal/worked on racism issues to understand what is and is not appropriate.

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