Mainstreaming Abuse

Mediatakeout.com reports:
A Seattle Washington man named Graydon Smith was under ARREST for abusing his pregnant girlfriend. But he has an INTERESTING DEFENSE to the claim of domestic violence - his girlfriend SIGNED A CONTRACT, allowing him to BEAT HER!!!

His defense is that the contract he signed is like the ones boxers use. It was even notarized. I would like in investigation into the notary. I want to know if they even read this contract.

I do not believe that a 19 year woman and 31 year old man can be described on equal footing to enter a contract like this. When boxers do it they are certified to be in the same weight class and athletic ability.

EXCLUSIVE: Jenna Jameson's Attorney Says Tito Ortiz's Drug Claims Are "Patently False"

Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson have a huge domestic violence blow out on Monday (4/26/10).

Now the accused Tito is saying that the accuser was on drugs and fell.

Tito had claimed during an impromptu press conference held outside an Italian restaurant in North Hollywood Monday night, that he never laid a hand on Jameson - insisting instead that she hurt herself when she fell.

This is insane. Just because Jenna Jameson has a sexy job doesn't mean you can abuse her. Also even if she was high which her lawyer points out is still not a justification for abuse.

So let everyone remember no one deserves to be abused or murdered. Just because someone morals do not align with yours we can't throw them to the wolves of society.

Patterns of Domestic Violence

Charlie Sheen was recently arrested in relation to Domestic Violence claims. Yet, he has had a history of violence against women.

In 2005, while Richards, his second wife, was pregnant, she filed for divorce on the grounds that Sheen had abused drugs and alcohol and threatened her with violence.

In December 1996, Sheen was arrested and charged with attacking a girlfriend at his Southern California home. He pleaded no contest to the accusation, and was placed on two years' probation. That incident followed yet another, six years earlier, when he accidentally shot his then-fiancée, Kelly Preston, in the arm. The couple split up shortly afterwards.

In the case of Charlie Sheen he is a public figure so future wives and girlfriends can look up this information and think twice before getting in a relationship with him.

Yet, in the case of regular women how can we find out about potential abusers?

Here is a list of traits found in abusive people. These are the things we need to look into.

Below is a list of common behaviors that are seen in abusive people. I got these from a web site geared toward men. This just proves that abuse can't happen in any relationship dynamic if these personality traits are present.

1] Jealousy

2] Controlling Behavior

3] Quick Involvement: Many people in abusive relationships dated or knew their abusive partners for less than six months before they were married, engaged or living together.

4] Unrealistic Expectations: Abusive people will expect their partner to meet all their needs;

5] Isolation

6] Blames Others for Problems

7] Blames Others for Feelings: She will tell you, "You make me mad," "You are hurting me by not doing what I want you to do," or "I can't help being angry."

8] Hypersensitivity: An abusive person is easily insulted

9] Cruelty to Animals or Children

10] "Playful" use of Force in Sex

11] Verbal Abuse:

12] Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde

13] Past Battering:

14] Threats of violence

15] Breaking or Striking Objects

16] Any Force During an Argument

Exclusive: Halle Berry: "My Mother Was a Battered Woman"

Halle Berry is no stranger to domestic violence.

"My mother was a battered woman and that was my childhood for a good chunk of it," the star, 43, says in an interview with NBC's Natalie Morales for an NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams segment airing Thursday.

"Early on in my life, I made choices, and I chose men that were abusive because that was what I knew growing up," she said four years ago, when she was honored by the Jenesse Center for her humanitarian work.

Through therapy, the star has said she learned what to do if and when a relationship turned violent.

Now, however, Berry -- who has said, "I'm not the girl that has the best relationships" -- has found happiness with beau Gabriel Aubrey, with whom she has 19-month-old daughter Nahla.

I am glad Halle Berry spoke out. People forget that their childern often follow in their patterns. So when you stay with the abuser it still afects the child.

Chris Brown: I Don't Remember Beating Rihanna

In his first interview since his Feb. 8 arrest for beating Rihanna, Chris Brown tells Larry King he doesn't remember abusing her and is still shocked the incident happened.

"When I look at it now, it's just like, wow, like, I can't — I can't believe that — that actually happened," he says in the interview, set to air Wednesday.

Along with his mother Joyce Hawkins, Brown told King how he grew up in an abusive home. Hawkins said her husband beat her – and Brown said he knew it: "I used to be scared to go to bed."

But he said he is not blaming his past for the attack on Rihanna.

"Nobody taught us how to love one another. Nobody taught us a book on how to — how to control our emotions or our anger," he said. "I wish I could have changed that night."

The Chris Brown and Rihanna issue was very tragic and each will be affected by it for the rest of there lives in different ways. I think only time will tell if they each learn their lesson. Rhianna on how to see warning signs and get out sooner rather then later. Chris Brown will learn that violence is never the answer.

Men tell Oprah why they beat the women they love

Men tell Oprah why they beat the women they love

This article provided insight in to the mind of the abuser. Yet, it didn't provide any solutions.

Economic or Financial Abuse

Since we are talking about abuse. I want to bring our attention to Economic or financial abuse.

What is economic or financial abuse of a spouse or domestic partner?
Economic or financial abuse includes:

• withholding economic resources such as money or credit cards
• stealing from or defrauding a partner of money or assets
• exploiting the intimate partner’s resources for personal gain
• withholding physical resources such as food, clothes, necessary medications, or shelter from a partner
• preventing the spouse or intimate partner from working or choosing an occupation

Well from a Grandma prospective, the grocery bill is still the woman's domain and is one of the few places a woman can access cash to create an escape fund if she is being abused.

Jessica Simpson Urges Women to Leave Abusive Men

"Although Simpson has never named names, she admitted last year that she had been in an abusive relationship."

Outsiders need to stop re-victimizing the victims. If a person believes they were abused, then they were. So Jessica Simpson is entitled to have her feelings and make her decisions. So is Rhianna.

If the public wants to truly help victims. Then they need to provide funds to extend the reach of shelters and legal funds that give these victims a place to go if they want to leave and the legal means to stop their abuser from contacting them.

BEAU: I GOT A 'WIFE' BEATING

Can a woman really beat a man as hard as a man can beat a woman?

Kelly Bensimon of the Real Housewives of NY allegedly clocked her fiance Nick Stefanov. He is quoted as saying the following:

"If I had done it to her, I would have been put in jail immediately," Stefanov told his friend.
"My injuries are worse than Rihanna's - and Chris Brown was charged with two felonies."

My question is there a double standard when it comes to domestic violence? In the struggle for equality do women need to start getting charged for the abuse they inflict in domestic violence?